No, that's not a baby in my tummy!

Yes, I've heard this from more than one unwitting child, they know not what they say. Thankfully no adult has ever made this most inappropriate comment to me, or I'd have sat on them!

But speaking of pregnancy and hcg...one of the reasons I felt so encouraged by this diet after doing some research is that the times I've been baking a baby have been times I've felt the most connected with my body and hunger, satiety and cravings. One bite too many and it would send me over the edge into spasms of nausea, so I learned then to pay closer attention to the signals my body was trying to send me. My cravings were relatively healthy too! Peanut butter and graham crackers, lemon yogurt, *protein* in massive amounts...nothing over the top or crazy. Wow. It was also a time when my body felt GOOD, well after morning sickness ended and before being HUGE with babybelly. Not as much pain, not as much fatigue, happy and excited. You know, that "glow"!

That's how today started for me too. I dropped *3 pounds* from the scale this morning. I slept well, and long enough. I was energized and ready to face the day (and it was a long, busy one too). These days have become so rare that they really stand out! Later in the day I ended up with a headache, probably from not drinking enough water - which I'm trying to make up for now. ;)

But I want MORE of those days, without the pregnancy! I have to believe that dropping half of my body weight (or so) will make them happen with a LOT more frequency. At some point I would love to snow ski again, ride bikes with my kids, hike, dance, run for fun and the body I ride in now simply can't do those things.

While exercise has always been touted as a remedy to virtually every medical problem known to science, it has been difficult for me with mind-numbing fatigue and a body that is always in pain. I haven't yet shared the myriad of medical problems I've faced over the years, but they are many, they are complex and some days it's all I can do to take care of my kids' basic needs. Thankfully my husband does help pick up *some* of the slack, though sometimes I wish he would do more (don't most wives?) ;)

But I have hope that with the inner process of relflection and the HCG diet someday my hypothalamus will be healed, my relationship with food will be more normal, my body will be filled with vitality and I will be able to do those things I once loved with joy, vigor and enthusiasm!

I have hope.

Hope is the dream of a soul awake.
~French Proverb