Poof - and like that 6 weeks are gone!

Yikes - this has been a crazy time! For the important part first - I'm down a total of 16 pounds!!!

That hasn't been without some amount of effort though.

I've had an ear infection that has been plaguing me for weeks, my kids NEVER have them, but I sure get them more often than any adult should. Currently on my third antibiotic, which finally seems to be working! The second one caused a terrible reaction with a lot of increased swelling, terrible pain in my leg and in general flared me up all over. It started the day after I began the antibiotic, and started resolving the day afterI stopped it. No permanent damage, but you can bet I won't be taking that drug again!

My blood pressure has been really high, like REALLY high. So the doc started me on another med for that - a calcium channel blocker - which slowed my heart rate down to the upper 40s. Well if I were a marathon runner that'd be okay, but someone of my size and fitness level, well it's rather corpse-like. My chest felt fluttery, I was very tired and my muscles were very fatigued. So we stopped that and started a diuretic again, with added potassium supplementation. I had gained about 10 pounds with the allergic reaction (water, my ankles were like large sausages), and after starting the diuretic I dropped 8 pounds in just a few days. What a relief!

So we got that resolved, and 5 days later I got rear-ended! ARGH! So that has set me back AGAIN. I have a cervical/thoracic/lumbar strain, have pain in my right shoulder and across my low back/pelvis and increased headaches. I was stopped on the freeway in traffic, and this fellow didn't see we were stopped, slammed on his brakes (while going downhill at 50 mph or more) and crashed right into us. I saw him coming and braced against it, that normal reaction that seems to make things worse in terms of injury. Sigh. But, I'm doing better, seeing my osteopath and massage therapist, as well as doing some movement therapy (eurythmy for those Waldorf folks) and all of that is helping. I've had to cancel clients though, and limit the number of people on my schedule while I heal.

What this has all meant for my transFORMation is that I've had limited means of exercising due to pain, swelling and injury and boy have I wanted to medicate with food. The victory is that I got through the Halloween candy bash relatively unscathed, and have still lost weight in the midst of all this random weird stuff going on. I'm really glad to have had the tools to help me through that habitual reach for the fridge when I'm hurting (emotionally or physically). I've been able to slow down that capitulation process and make better choices for myself when I reach for the FORM bottle first. THAT is empowerment, and I'm so grateful!

FORM works. End of story.

Portion control and some insights too!

Weeeeell...I have found that there are simply times when I don't WANT to take the FORM capsules. WTH? WHY? They work! They reduce my appetite! I'm losing weight! Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it not? Perhaps, but it makes some sense too.

When I'm physically flared up and hurting, running on too little sleep or on the higher levels of stress and it's time to take the product I find myself thinking "No, I just want to eat right now.

So I'm not a rocket surgeon (ha), but it stands to reason that the times when I don't want to take the product are exactly the times I SHOULD be taking the product!

So yes, I've used food for comfort for many years as it is an effective, ever-present friend who offers me relaxation, oblivion or whatever I'm seeking at that moment. However that has also led me to the dreaded Three-Oh-Oh number. So maybe, just maybe I need to break up with this friend and make some new ones that allow me to practice self-love in more life-serving ways. You'd think I already knew that but I guess it's just part of the whole process of learning to listen better when my body tells me one thing and my destructive habits override it.

Doh! Seems like weight loss 101! I guess I need to read that chapter again. ;)

It's been a hard week!

I was away on a women's retreat last weekend, but it was a working retreat for me. I saw EIGHT massage clients in about a 26 hour time frame. Needless to say, my body retaliated. I got home and Monday was busy driving morning carpool, doing a business meeting and demo, picking up E at Grandma's house, driving afternoon carpool and getting A to Aikido - all of which was across town and in three different counties! Tuesday I helped out at a bookfair or my aunt (who has a small publishing business) so I was on my feet all day, then planned and executed a picnic dinner for the extended family that night. Wednesday I was so tired and sore I could barely wiggle! Thankfully I was scheduled for a massage with one of my TRT buddies, which was bliss itself. I'm still sore today, but much better than I was.

Throughout all of this, I found it harder to stay focused and on track. I haven't been binging on junk (in part due to my GFCF diet), but I have found myself wanting to medicate with food, and eating more than I have been while taking the FORM. In truth, I haven't taken it for several days...I don't know why. Energetically, it's hard to sustain an intention when I'm exhausted, fazzled and hurting all over.

But today was a better day! I finally tried FIXX, which I'd been avoiding because it has whey and I'm avoiding dairy. But I've been GFCF for 4.5 weeks now, and I really really really wanted to test drive the product. It's VERY good! So, two FORM capsules, one FIXX packet and a cuppa tea - that was dinner. :) I also sold my first bottle of FORM! I did the demo for her, which is SO cool to watch, and she basically said "sign me up".

Yep, today was a good day!

And so it begins...

MY STORY- Day One
Oh I have fallen flat so many times. I hear about the next big (supposed) breakthrough and get my hopes up. I “drink the Kool-Aide” so to speak. I tell everyone about this “new thing” that is going to melt my thighs and give me six-pack abs. So many starvation and weird food diets, it is simply impossible to count how many. My attempts to return to a healthy weight have included behavioral therapy (more than once, and more than one style), Overeaters Anonymous, Conscious Weight Loss, Weight Loss Clinic (810 calories a day will make anyone lose weight, to their detriment as I found the hard way).

Books on the subject, by the gross (no pun intended) - The Blood Type Diet, The Carbohydrates Addict’s Diet, The Atkins Diet, The Zone, The Gold Coast Cure to name a few. The Fad diets: Grapefruit, Cabbage, Fruit Only, Juice Only, Hollywood, Apple Cider Vinegar and Raw Eggs, the standard food pyramid and of course Low Fat/Fat Free.

Extreme exercise, goofy “rules” for exercising – like cardio first to burn fat which lets you put on more muscle, weight training first which burns glucose and then cardio to burn fat more efficiently, only in the morning, only in the evening, both morning and evening. Oh and the fabulous exercise equipment! I don’t even want to add up the thousands I’ve spent over the years to make exercising more convenient by doing it at home. Ha! Convenient is great, but until someone sells motivation in a box, I’m not buying any more dust collectors.

I’ve even secretly considered Drastic Bypass. It’s exhausting just trying to recall all the times I’ve tried to, as Oprah puts it, Make the Connection. I finally quit trying, and bulked up to nearly 300 pounds. Horrifying. Frightening. Terribly sad. And coming to that last-ditch solution called surgery has frightened me more than watching the scale creep up to the big Three-Oh-Oh.

The last few years have been gearing up to this, and I’ve found myself in a healing crisis the last six months with extremely high blood pressure, fibromyalgia, inflammatory arthritis, sleep apnea, vitamin deficiencies, tendonitis, chronic pain and extreme fatigue. Test after test confirming that if I don’t make significant changes and soon – I won’t survive. My girls need a mother. My husband needs a wife. My family needs a daughter, sister, aunt and niece. But most importantly – I need MYSELF.

I have tried for two decades to find the self-love necessary to accept my body for what it is, and yet care for it in ways that enhance rather than deplete my essence, that makes life worth living. But when it gets difficult, I’m in pain, not sleeping and fatigued, when life ramps up with bills and errands and carpools as it inevitably does at times, I have turned to the comfort and dissociation of a food-induced high. Yes, I love food (who doesn’t)- but I am ready to break free of this destructive emotional and addictive relationship and instead turn to food for sustenance, life-giving nutrition and vitality; to enjoy it, even love it while knowing that love can turn to obsession unless I remain mindful and connected to what is TRUE for me. Then I found something that gave me…pause…

I researched FORM and O3World for several weeks before deciding to go forward. It seemed too good to be true!!! Yet another fad, yet another promise of miraculous results and oh, the hope that inspired was just too intoxicating…but I refrained from jumping head first, instead pinching myself to be sure what I was reading and watching was actually true. I did NOT want to succumb again to the “Kool-Aide”. Finally, while speaking with a good and trusted friend (who is a professional Health Coach), she mentioned casually this new thing she was trying and this company she is a distributor with (Forever Green/O3World). I realized we were talking about the same thing and was pushed over that edge of disbelief. If SHE could trust this new product, willingly ingest it and had nothing but raves about the company, their ethics and their products, then I knew I could too.

I can’t tell you how excited and hopeful I feel, knowing this is the tool to give me the…pause…to mindfully and wisely make the changes necessary for living the life I deserve and having a body that is healthy, moves with ease and maybe even a little bit of grace.

So I fell headfirst into O3 World. NOW instead of the dreaded Three-Oh-Oh – I’m singing “Oh Three Times – Oh-Oh-Oh”! Look Out World, cause I’m ready to transFORM!